Elliott's Blog

The Heart is the Head of my House

This entry was posted on 2/5/2010 7:21 AM and is filed under secrets to peace.

Have you ever experienced seeing or hearing something come out of your mouth that you did not intend to say. For example, you are in a circle and you have been asked to make an intention for some upcoming period. In your heart you know what you want, but when it comes your time to speak your brain overrides what you were going to say and states something safe. Or maybe even it says something you had reminded yourself, dozens of times, you did not want to mention.

This has happened to me. I lost a friendship over it once. A friend, with whom I shared a certain illegal partying, had a brother or cousin coming to town. This friend told me dozens of times not to mention this chosen activity we shared.

I would have been better off if I had not gone over while this relative was visiting. Despite reminding myself, repeatedly, not to bring up our shared indulgence, my brain’s short term memory cells were not functioning, and I asked the guy, in front of his company, if he wanted to party, despite all the warnings. My friend never forgave me. He was convinced that I did it on purpose instead of accepting the fact that I was incapable of using my brain appropriately.

I have noticed other times, when my brain function was not impaired by external chemicals, when I was prepared to give some authentic or maybe some vulnerable response, in a group setting, and opted at the last moment to say something else.

These moments turned out to be epiphanies for me because I noticed that there appeared to be at least two of me. There was the me, willing to risk cynicism or ostracism to speak my truth, and there was the me who was afraid to do so. The latter seemed to be the boss, making the final decision about how I would show up; how much I would risk.

Today, I realize that the true me, is the unidentifiable place from which both sets of ideas originate. Who I Am is the Self from which the ideas which define Elliott emerge.

Oh, when in thought, I still have the conflict, particularly with knowing when I should speak and when I should remain quiet. It is a tough balancing act, being in both experiences. Today, however, I seldom, if ever, say anything from behind any type of mask. I seldom consider what you will think of me, as a result of what I feel is mine to share.

The mind wants to run the show, no matter who you are. It was created for just that purpose.

When the mind is in conflict with the heart, and it often is, I recommend following the heart, always. The heart does not say inauthentic things out of fear for other’s reactions. The heart is fearless, and has no need of hiding.

Centering prayer, virtually a Christian form of meditation is a wonderful tool, because it allows the participant to realize that they exist beyond the thoughts. It encourages one to become the witness of the thoughts, instead of a slave to the thoughts.

To obtain our freedom from a mind which is not interested in giving up control, we must first recognize the truth that we are not what we think.

Asking myself who is the voice inside my head and to whom is the voice directing its chatter, was a good place to begin an inquiry into my search for truth.

Sometimes our true identity has been so disguised in conditioned reactions that we have literally lost touch, entirely, with who we are.

Noticing a voice, which expresses anything other than your hearts Truth, can lead to a great awakening.

It is very hard to spend much time in peace if there is a war waging inside myself.

Who I Am longs to express itself. It is totally wiling to take risks, because It would rather show up, in Truth, or not show up at all.